Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Holy Hookers & Sacred Sodomy -- by Richard C. Speaks

God's Homophobia part 2 of 3

Linking the religious intolerance for homosexuals and prostitutes down through the ages to the pagan fertility cults of old may seem like quite a leap to most of you, but the Bible has already made that connection for us. All I've got to do is let the Bible prove my point for me. The three no-no's all sprung from the age-old struggle of the monotheists to irradicate their greatest competitor: the fertility cults. See for yourself.

I shall not punish your daughters for playing the whore, nor your daughters-in-law for committing adultery, when the men themselves are wandering off with whores and offering sacrifice with sacred prostitutes...
HOSEA 4:14

There must be no sacred prostitute among the women of Israel, and no sacred prostitutes among the men of Israel.

Ceremonial prostitutes were nearly ubiquitous throughout the Fertile Crescent. They were highly regarded among the fertility cults of old, and nice to have around when you're horny.

In the epic of Gilgamesh, a temple prostitute, Shamhat, was commissioned by the king to seduce the beast-man, Enkidu. She estranged him from the animals, and made a man out of him. New girlfriend. Old friends must go. Same old story. Enkidu and Gilgamesh became inseparable later on. Hmmm...? The patriarch Jacob slept with his own daughter-in-law, Tamar, mistaking her for a pagan prostitute. The authors of the gospels have suggested that Mary of Magdala may have been a ceremonial prostitute, before JC came along, and turned her around. But that's another tale for another time.

This sacred vocation was not gender specific. There were professional sperm-spillers to suite the tastes of every male worshiper in the community. The point of this was to symbolically re-impregnate Mother Earth, and to appease the other god, or gods of that town.

Quite a few Hebrews worshipped Yahweh and other gods at the same time. Finally God had to lay down the law:

Moses turned and came down the mountain with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, tablets inscribed on both sides,inscribed on the front and on the back. The tablets were the work of God, and the writing on them was God’s writing, engraved on the tablets. When Joshua heard the noise of the people shouting, he said to Moses, ’There is the sound of battle in the camp!’ But he replied: ’No song of victory is this sound, no lament for defeat this sound; but answering choruses I hear!’ And there, as he approached the camp, he saw the (golden) calf and the groups dancing. Moses blazed with anger. He threw down the tablets he was holding, shattering them at the foot of the mountain. He seized the calf they had made and burned it, grinding it into powder which he scattered on the water, and made the Israelites drink.
EXODUS 32:15-20

The first time Moses climbed the mountain to receive the tablets of Testimony from God, the things God was preoccupied with were'nt so anal. They were mostly ceremonial instructions and such. Moses broke the first tablets of the law in a pique at the foot of God's Mountain. The second time up the mountain was very different. The LAW was revised.

The Hebrews had relapsed to pagan ways in Moses' absence, with the cooperation of Aaron, his brother, the high priest. After that Moses became an obsessive-compulsive control freak about clean and unclean conduct. Sort'a like Howard Hughs and his germs. Fornication became the new Original Sin. Yaweh became a jealous god. Nothing connected to fertility cult practices was to be tolerated. Sex was for procreation only -- not for worship, not for ritual, not even for mutual enjoyment. Sex became a shameful thing.

You shall have no other gods to rival me. You shall not make yourself a craved image or any likeness of anything in heaven above or earth beneath or in the waters under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them. For I, Yahweh your God, am a jealous God...
EXODUS 20:3-5

Yahweh's chosen people were frequent backsliders, as you can see.

They had built themselves high places, and had set up pillars and sacred poles on every high hill and under every spreading tree. There were even male sacred prostitutes in the country. He (King Rehoboam) copied all the shameful practices of the nations whom Yahweh had dispossessed for the Israelites.
I KINGS 14:23,24

Sacred poles and pillars were obviously phallic symbols. KJV calls the ceremonial male prostitutes, the Sodomites. That's why I'm quoting from the New Jerusalem Bible, which is more accurate and easy to understand.

Asa did what Yahweh regards as right, as his ancestor David had done. He drove the male prostitutes out of the country and got rid of all the idols which his ancestors had made.
I KINGS 15:11,12

He pulled down the house of the sacred male prostitutes which was in the Temple of Yahweh and where the women wove veils for Asherah.
II KINGS 23:4-7

Tamar put a veil over her face to disguise herself as a sacred hooker, so that she could trick Judah into knocking her up (GENESIS 38:13-18). The reason for the wearing of veils was to make the sex act less personal, and more symbolic. A possible origin for the term: "Bag that face, so we can get it on!" -- or something like that.

The Temple was filled with revelling and debauchery by the gentiles, who took their pleasure with prostitutes and had intercourse with women in the sacred precincts, introducing other indecencies besides.

Mark, then, what I command you today. I am going to drive out the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Hivites and the Jebusites before you. Take care you make no pact with the inhabitants of the country which you are about to enter, or they will prove a snare in your community. You will tear down their altars, smash their cultic stones and cut down their sacred poles, for you will worship no other god, since Yahweh’s name is the Jealous One; He is a jealous God. Make no pact with the inhabitants of the country or, when they prostitute themselves to their own gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you and you will partake of their sacrifice, and then you will choose wives for your sons from among their daughters, and their daughters, prostituting themselves to their own gods, will induce your sons to prostitute themselves to their gods. You will not cast metal gods for yourself.
EXODUS 34:11-17

The man who has intercourse with a man in the same way as with a woman: they have done a hateful thing together; they will be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

You will not follow the laws of the nations whom I am driving out before you; they practice all these things, which is why I detested them.

I'm not sure what JC's position on this issue was. He was far more concerned with religious hypocrisy among the higher ups. I believe his was a political mission. More on that later.

The writers of the epistles echo the OT's sentiments: Fags are the devil! They must die for being the way they are. God detests gay men. Being a gay Christian makes about as much sense to me as being a Jewish Nazi. Talk about being your own worst enemy!

This black sheep infidel says: What the hell? Be a gay Christian if that floats your boat. Ignore all the verses that bother you. Try and have it both ways. After all, you're forgiven. Right? Who knows? Yahweh might've been misquoted again. Better not spill any sperm though. Just to be on the safe side. Even a wet dream can make a guy unclean all day! (LEVITICUS 15:16,17) 

Mrs. Betty Bowers explains the Bible-based marriage:


Anonymous said...

You are so funny, in addition to being smart! Sounds like they used to have a good practice, like todays "what happens in Vegas"!
Legalize and tax the sex trade!
(It might cut down on rape,etc)
the more you write, the more I like the Pagans!!!

Anonymous said...

Holy Hookers and Holy Holes
Holy Holes and sacred skanky Souls
sliding in places like tootsie rolls
like a butt diamond miner
or one searching for coal
So, unlock your Soul from inside your Hole!

Holy Hookers and Holy Holes
fuckin', suckin', learnin' in school
that abstinence only
is only for fools
while the butt diamond miner
enjoys his family jewels
So, unlock your Soul from inside your Hole!

Fart blasting blisters
and rectal delights
sodomous sodomy all through the night
down kinky tinctures
like no wrong and no right
heaven is but a garden
of earthly delights

putrefied pussies
arseholes gaped and torn
cocks full of maggots
cunts rotting and worn
everyone starts dying
the day that they're born
while pontificating pontiffs
try to demonize and warn
those who have zest
for the "sins of the flesh"
though such words are like shit
mostly chock-full of corn

For this life is but a glance
and even a wise man sometimes shits his pants
So, everyone should get a reasonable chance
to enjoy some delights while they may
whether or not they're from France

So, take my advise
and listen and learn
enjoy your sweet cunt
and enjoy your sweet sperm
enjoy your sweet life
and enjoy your sweet love
for all this makes sense
if there is a God up above
and if there is not
then that matters neither
so, enjoy your sweet clit
and enjoy your sweet peter!
Enjoy your fine butt
and your holes whilst you can
for this is the destiny
of woman and man!

- "Pee Laxton"