Saturday, March 13, 2010

Christian Zombies? WTF? -- by Richard C. Speaks

..."the dead are raised to life"....

JC was convinced that he was living in the end-times. He was well versed in the apocalyptic writings that promised the coming of the Messiah, and many other wondrous and terrible things. He believed that the dead would one day be returned to life, because it was written long ago.

Twenty centuries later believers are still eagerly awaiting the end of reality.

By claiming that he had the power of resurrection, and other magic, JC was passing himself off as a messianic prophet. The supernatural heir to the heavenly throne of David and Solomon. The once and future ruler of God's earthly kingdom. Jerusalem. That's what JC was really after,

All he had to do was make a name for himself, so he took his magic act on the road, With JTB dead, many bumpkins were desperate to find somebody new to follow around.

King Herod had heard about him, since by now his name was well known. Some were saying, "JTB has risen from the dead, and that is why miraculous powers are at work in him." Others said, "He is Elijah," others again, "He is a prophet, like the prophets we used to have." But when Herod heard this he said, "This is John whose head I cut off. He has risen from the dead."
MARK 6:14-16

This is how rumors turn into religions.

I think JC was orchestrating events ahead of time to make his magic work. He was always coming into town just in time to pull off a miracle. This is suspicious. Here's a fine example:

And when Jesus saw that a crowd was gathering, he rebuked the unclean spirit. "Deaf and dumb spirit," he said, "I command you: come out of him and never enter him again." Then it threw the boy into violent convulsions and came out shouting, and the boy lay there so like a corpse that most of them said, "He is dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and helped him up, and he was able to stand.
MARK 9:25-27

See how eager the crowd was to pronounce the lad a goner? How can we trust these witnesses? Consider the following fishy miracle:

It happened that soon afterwards he went to a town called Nain, accompanied by his disciples and a great number of people. Now when he was near the gate of the town there was a dead man being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a considerable number of the townspeople was with her. When the Lord saw her he felt sorry for her and he said to her, "Don't cry." Then he went up and touched the bier and the bearers stood still, and he said, "Young man, I tell you: get up." And the dead man sat up and began to talk and Jesus gave him to his mother.
LUKE 7:11-15

I am not impressed. This miracle could have easily been hoaxed. An ancient con-job. See ELMER GANTRY, or Steve Martin's LEAP OF FAITH sometime.

When Jesus reached the officials house and saw the flute-players, with the crowd making a commotion, he said, "Get out of here. The little girl is not dead. She is asleep." And they ridiculed him. But when the people had been turned out he went inside and took her by the hand; and she stood up. And the news of this spread all round the countryside.
MATTHEW 9:23-26 (MK. 5:35-43, LK. 8:40-56)

Not to mention the raising of Lazarus; found only in the eleventh chapter of JOHN. All of these stories could have been staged, considering the gullibility of his followers.

Now consider the following:

And going into Peter's house Jesus found Peter's mother-in-law in bed and feverish. He touched her hand and the fever left her, and she got up and began to serve him. That evening they brought him many who were possessed by devils. He drove out the spirits with a command and cured all who were sick.
MATTHEW 8:14-16 (MK. 1:29-31, LK. 4:38,39)

So far so good. JC can handle everything thrown at him. He has proven his mastery over life and death to everybody. Now consider the following:

Another man, one of the disciples, said to him, "Lord, let me go and bury my father first." But Jesus said, "Follow mw, and leave the dead to bury their dead."
MATTHEW 8:21, 22 (LK. 9:59,60)

WTF? Jesus can raise the dead, even after several days, as in the tale of Lazarus, but he doesn't offer to do likewise as a favor to one of his trusted disciples? This stinks to high heaven, folks. Maybe JC wasn't able to do anything for the old guy because he was really dead, and not a plant.

What is JC saying about leaving the dead to bury their dead? It sounds pretty cold to me. Is he saying that this unnamed disciple's family are the dead left to bury his dead dad? Why are they dead to him? WTF? Sounds like a cult to me.